Serial Laborer

Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution that you kept?

Source: Resolved

Nope.

Well, this post ended quickly. N’ah, I should still give my take on it because that’s obviously just the way I roll. Pfffttt.

The recurring New Year’s resolutions that makes my list every year up to 2013 is getting fit or losing weight and stop procrastinating, which I unquestionably fail to keep. That is also why I did not even bother to include them in my 2014 resolution.

In 2015, I mustered up some courage to make another resolution: being an intern. Not only did I fail to even apply for anything available because I was too preoccupied with schoolwork and my thesis proposal that I missed the deadlines by the end of the year, I guess stupid me also forgot that the candidate-examination-and-acceptance part was beyond my control. The miserably failed plan was responsible for the lack of a supposed activity (I am completely ignoring the word “thesis” screaming at the back of my head) that I am currently in, which leads me to starting this blog. Yay.

I am a sorry excuse of an adult. And gradschool student.

Funny thing is I ended up doing stuff I did not plan at all. I went out of the country solely for travelling purposes for the first time, which despite of the anxiety days before the departure, is an awesome experience. I gained new friends, which I still consider worth celebrating as I love to be in my room almost all the time. Not to mention that I am rubbish in any social setting. I read over 15 books for fun, which is a new record of achievement. I should credit this to a good friend though, for without her, I may not even know half of the books I finished reading throughout the year.

I started thinking this is a mind trick to make me conclude that it is better not to plan anything and just go with the flow, which I realize does not work all the time. This thought brought me to my current take on resolutions: they are too big of a word.

Some tend to make a big deal about it, share it for everyone to see, and some beat themselves too badly if they cannot keep it. And some, like me, perhaps just forget their own boundaries and limitations when setting it. I cannot multi-task in a sense that, if I have more than one big goal in the same time, my way of dealing with it would be to finish one after the other; or else, I ended up just procrastinating and not get anything done. I did try to prove the otherwise, and obviously it didn’t end up well.

I currently have no formal resolutions for 2016, but I do have plans on what I want to start or finish this year. Some are more exciting than the other, but what I kept in mind is mostly what I learn from last year: doing stuff at my own pace, one step at a time. Because I honestly have no idea how else I am going to get stuff done. I have come to believe that this is the one way my mind and body function, and I guess this lesson is worth the sleepless nights thinking of why I am such a failure.

Oh, and I refuse to share it because, not only that it is irrelevant to the prompt question, apparently it does not work for me as well. Just don’t want to jinx it, you see.

 

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