What do you find more unbearable: watching a video of yourself, or listening to a recording of your voice? Why?
Source: Can’t Stand Me
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. I would not be able to have any of my senses recollect whichever remnants of myself as much as I wish to be rid off any forms of abomination, who in this case happens to be me.
But to choose the lesser of the two evils, I would have to go with listening to a recording of my voice rather than watching a video of myself. The main reason would probably because I am more familiar with the idea of listening to my own voice. I have heard a short narration and a little dubbing I did for annual end-of-year school plays when I was in junior high school, and personally, it was not as bad as when I saw a footage of myself doing a short dance-slash-self defense routine with a group of classmates for another end of year event. Absolutely not the best moment in my life.
There is just something with me looking at my moving, physical self. I can always seem to spot how awkward I look or how I fidget especially if I know my actions will be digitally preserved. Speaking of which, I am not sure if people still find it a bit odd to see themselves in a screen compared to watching other people in the same platform, with all the technological advancement enabling them to be used to cameras even from a young age. I am kind of used to seeing myself in photographs, but not videos; and that made me wonder if that is why my late grandmother did not like it when our family members want to take pictures of her, simply because she was never used to the idea.
In all honesty, I admit that I do have this weird fondness to listen and discern voices. By no means I am implying that I like hearing my own voice, but more onto the fact that I am far more comfortable when listening to recordings of people’s voices as a general rule. When you listen to a podcast or the radio, for instance, I feel like it’s almost as if I was taking a peek of someone’s thoughts without having to be distracted with how they look, which in some cases may impair judgment. Of course, in some, eventually people will get curious to see who the person behind the studios is, but at least initially, one can’t be bothered. By then, interests are further developed through sharing opinions or provoking thoughts, but not much of anything else. Keeping this in mind, I would rather have my ideas processed more immediately than my outward features, even by myself.
I also don’t think my preference is necessarily related to the question of whether one has a bad self-image or whatever. I reckon it is normal to like one thing more about yourself more than the other, and to be comfortable about it. In reverse, I guess it should be fine to dislike a certain trait either, but in a sense that it does not bother you too much that you came to hate yourself as a whole. Embrace both the good and the bad, or work on to fix some and improve some; do whichever makes you feel okay. Anything to make you function just fine to get by the day. One size doesn’t fit all, nobody’s perfect, yadda yadda yadda. You get my point.
I just realized that this post looks like a written and more elaborate response to a “Would You Rather?” game.