Umbrellas Be Damned

How is the year shaping up for you so far? Have your predictions come true, or did you have to face a curve ball or two? (Thank you, BasicallyBeyondBasic, for the timely prompt suggestions!)

Source: Thanks, Hindsight

Procrastination uncured, horridly crystallizing. Indifference towards academic life heightening, if not, constantly solidifying. Distress towards job prospect or the future in general sharply increasing to the point of stoicism. Yes, I guess I have the ability to foresee the bleakness of the first months of the year pretty accurately.

Thankfully enough, the ranting-through-writing I am currently doing slightly helps with the sleeplessness… well, despite it being an entertaining distraction. It is sort of a good trait that it’s enjoyable, not to mention therapeutic, but still a distraction.

Will you look at that? I finally did answer the questions directly without further ado, which makes this post the least attractive I have written so far. Even worse than my attempts to write some fiction, I suppose. Still, what matters is I finally had the guts to publish things I used to write in my tiny little confined notebooks and laptop. This post slowly becomes more of a self-reassurance monologue than I had expected to be.

Early-year reflection done, now it’s time to think about what is to come.

There are some things I, for sure, eventually need to do–such as my thesis and a course…oh Lord, spare me the migraine–and there is surely things that will happen in relevance to it, each will most likely be particularly unexpected both in a good or a bad way. That is life’s job description; to indisputably throw you shit, freak you out with it, make you think you got stuff handled, and then throw you more crap. To be fair, sometimes it will slap you with exciting news and happy moments worth cherishing too, but of course, usually it only lasts in an instant. Point is, I know what generally needs to be expected, but most people, including me, never know what is specifically going to happen, and that is the part of the uncertainty that people normally fear.

One might be inclined to think that over time people will adapt to things, but maybe not this one. The issue with uncertainty is that, yes, everyone knows that life has never be able to provide solace and security of stability, but then one is still going to be anxious because most of the time, it is the specific that caught them unguarded. The first response is surprise, or shock to incorporate the less favourable circumstance. Then the second one would be, “Well, I should’ve expected the unexpected”, which is acquired from the general idea that we should be ready regardless of our lack of knowledge about the future. Undoubtedly, this sense of awareness may possibly assist with one’s ability to cope when confronted with an unlikely circumstance. But conversely, no one is ever truly ready, but not because their commonplace lack of anticipation for what is going to happen as by now the expression on expectations has spread like wild fire; it’s because of what the then unknown, exact event is.

Obviously, there is no escape to it because even seers, or whoever claims they can call the turn, would not pinpoint a clear-cut vision of what’s to occur. Nobody knows, and everybody just have to deal with it somehow. People rely on past experiences, professional opinions, or the stories and the existence of friends and family for comfort and solution. In one way or another, things work out, and ultimately that becomes the most important factor. And if not… well, life completely mess you up, don’t it?

Bottom line, I don’t think I am in any place to hope for the best as of now, but I certainly need to prepare for the worst, though I really don’t want to jinx what the next months of 2016 will offer me. You see, when one listed the worst case scenario, life may just again take you aback with the most unexpected. Maybe it’s true that the best way is to expect nothing at least to save our unsurprisingly huge or ridiculously tiny egos. But can one ever not?

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