Memento Mori

An imaginary conversation submitted for the prompt: Misstep

 

“Hey, watch it!”

“Sorry! Oh my God, that was close.”

“I mean it, young lad. You almost got yourself stumbling into the same hole again.”

“Stop with the old lady act. Doesn’t suit you.”

“Well, that comes with the package, I can’t help it. But really, stop getting tempted to give second chances to things that bore you. Be more decisive. Don’t have much time to live, you see.”

“Oh that’s where you came in, stereotypical voice of reason. Anyway, what is it with everyone saying life is short? And why is it bad? For all I know, it’s best to end it quicker. Y’know, that one dude saying those who die young is the happiest, yadda yadda yadda…”

“Aftermath, sweetheart. It seems short once you reach a certain age, and nobody knows when your life will end. Better safe than sorry, if you know what I mean.”

“Well, shit. You really are the voice of reason.”

“Hell yeah, I am. Now, let me ask you a simple question: what’s the goal?”

“Make enough money so I can still pay the internet bills and be a twat on the internet?”

“That’s achievable. Good. And what do you need to do that?”

“A job, obviously.”

“Exactly, so don’t stray from that path. Now, what do you have to do first before you get there?”

“Climb up Mount Thesis and Valley of the Interns.”

“Correct. And do you like climbing up that mountain?”

“Nope. My lungs can’t take the agony of too much bullshit writing for air anymore.”

“Precisely. Keep that in mind before you took another route of destruction requiring you to hike up, but instead of fresh air, you’re just inhaling crap all over. That’ll do it.”

“Right. Why bother hike two polluted mountains–assuming they exist–while you are struggling to go for one?”

“No, no. It’s more like: why bother hike two polluted mountains, while you can hike just one?”

“Even that is not obligatory.”

“Mm-hmm. Not only it’s too labor-intensive, it’ll get dung on your lungs.”

“Wow. Talking about third-world problems over here.”

“So when you see the chance to break off of that vicious circle…”

“You fucking take it by the balls.”

“Atta boy. So, watchu gonna do now?”

“Sleep. I reckon I will need some energy for an arduous hike tomorrow. Oh, and buy a freaking oxygen mask.”

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